Family Guy
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● NOW PLAYING · 23 MIN
S03 · E04
Family Guy (2001)
One if by Clam, Two if by Sea
▸ Overview
When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.
▸ Credits
Directed byDan Povenmire
Written byJim Bernstein, Michael Shipley
▸ Guest Stars
▸ Cast
Seth MacFarlane
Peter Griffin
Alex Borstein
Lois Griffin / Tricia Takanawa / Barbara Pewterschmidt
Mila Kunis
Meg Griffin
Seth Green
Chris Griffin/Neil Goldman
Seth MacFarlane
Stewie Griffin
Seth MacFarlane
Brian Griffin
Seth MacFarlane
Glenn Quagmire
Patrick Warburton
Joe Swanson
MH
Mike Henry
Cleveland/Herbert/Bruce/Consuela/Greased-up Deaf Guy
Jennifer Tilly
Bonnie Swanson
JG
John G. Brennan
Mort Goldman/Horrace/Mr Weed
Adam West
Adam West
Kevin Michael Richardson
Jerome
Seth MacFarlane
Carter Pewterschmidt
Alex Borstein
Barbara Pewterschmidt
Seth MacFarlane
Dr. Hartman
Seth MacFarlane
Tom Tucker
LA
Lori Alan
Diane Simmons
Alex Borstein
Tricia Takanawa
MH
Mike Henry
Herbert, the Pervert
MH
Mike Henry
Consuela
MH
Mike Henry
Bruce
Seth MacFarlane
Ida Davis
Seth MacFarlane
Seamus Levine
All episodes
Season 1
Season 2
-
S02E01 Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater -
S02E02 Holy Crap -
S02E03 Da Boom -
S02E04 Brian in Love -
S02E05 Love Thy Trophy -
S02E06 Death is a Bitch -
S02E07 The King is Dead -
S02E08 I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar -
S02E09 If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin' -
S02E10 Running Mates -
S02E11 A Picture's Worth A Thousand Bucks -
S02E12 Fifteen Minutes of Shame -
S02E13 Road to Rhode Island -
S02E14 Let's Go to the Hop -
S02E15 Dammit Janet -
S02E16 There's Something About Paulie -
S02E17 He's Too Sexy For His Fat -
S02E18 E. Peterbus Unum -
S02E19 The Story on Page One -
S02E20 Wasted Talent -
S02E21 Fore, Father
Season 3
-
S03E01 The Thin White Line -
S03E02 Brian Does Hollywood -
S03E03 Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington - S03E04 One if by Clam, Two if by Sea
-
S03E05 And the Wiener is... -
S03E06 Death Lives -
S03E07 Lethal Weapons -
S03E08 The Kiss Seen Round the World -
S03E09 Mr. Saturday Knight -
S03E10 Fish Out of Water -
S03E11 Emission Impossible -
S03E12 To Love and Die in Dixie -
S03E13 Screwed the Pooch -
S03E14 Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother? -
S03E15 Ready, Willing, and Disabled -
S03E16 A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas -
S03E17 Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows -
S03E18 From Method to Madness -
S03E19 Stuck Together, Torn Apart -
S03E20 Road to Europe -
S03E21 Family Guy Viewer Mail #1 -
S03E22 When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
Season 4
-
S04E01 North by North Quahog -
S04E02 Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High -
S04E03 Blind Ambition -
S04E04 Don't Make Me Over -
S04E05 The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire -
S04E06 Petarded -
S04E07 Brian, The Bachelor -
S04E08 8 Simple Rules for Buying my Teenage Daughter -
S04E09 Breaking Out Is Hard To Do -
S04E10 Model Misbehavior -
S04E11 Peter's Got Woods -
S04E12 The Perfect Castaway -
S04E13 Jungle Love -
S04E14 PTV -
S04E15 Brian Goes Back to College -
S04E16 The Courtship of Stewie's Father -
S04E17 The Fat Guy Strangler -
S04E18 The Father, The Son, and The Holy Fonz -
S04E19 Brian Sings and Swings -
S04E20 Patriot Games -
S04E21 I Take Thee Quagmire -
S04E22 Sibling Rivalry -
S04E23 Deep Throats -
S04E24 Peterotica -
S04E25 You May Now Kiss The... Uh... Guy Who Receives -
S04E26 Petergeist -
S04E27 The Griffin Family History -
S04E28 Stewie B. Goode -
S04E29 Bango Was His Name Oh! -
S04E30 Stu & Stewie's Excellent Adventure
Season 5
-
S05E01 Stewie Loves Lois -
S05E02 Mother Tucker -
S05E03 Hell Comes to Quahog -
S05E04 Saving Private Brian -
S05E05 Whistle While Your Wife Works -
S05E06 Prick Up Your Ears -
S05E07 Chick Cancer -
S05E08 Barely Legal -
S05E09 Road to Rupert -
S05E10 Peter's Two Dads -
S05E11 The Tan Aquatic With Steve Zissou -
S05E12 Airport '07 -
S05E13 Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey -
S05E14 No Meals On Wheels -
S05E15 Boys Do Cry -
S05E16 No Chris Left Behind -
S05E17 It Takes a Village Idiot... and I Married One -
S05E18 Meet the Quagmires
Season 6
-
S06E01 Blue Harvest -
S06E02 Movin' Out (Brian's Song) -
S06E03 Believe it or Not, Joe's Walking on Air -
S06E04 Stewie Kills Lois -
S06E05 Lois Kills Stewie -
S06E06 Padre de Familia -
S06E07 Peter's Daughter -
S06E08 McStroke -
S06E09 Back to the Woods -
S06E10 Play it Again, Brian -
S06E11 The Former Life of Brian -
S06E12 Long John Peter
Season 7
-
S07E01 Love Blactually -
S07E02 I Dream of Jesus -
S07E03 Road to Germany -
S07E04 Baby Not On Board -
S07E05 The Man With Two Brians -
S07E06 Tales of a Third Grade Nothing -
S07E07 Ocean's Three and a Half -
S07E08 Family Gay -
S07E09 The Juice is Loose! -
S07E10 FOX-y Lady -
S07E11 Not All Dogs Go to Heaven -
S07E12 420 -
S07E13 Stew-Roids -
S07E14 We Love You, Conrad -
S07E15 Three Kings -
S07E16 Peter's Progress
Season 8
-
S08E01 Road to the Multiverse -
S08E02 Family Goy -
S08E03 Spies Reminiscent of Us -
S08E04 Brian's Got a Brand New Bag -
S08E05 Hannah Banana -
S08E06 Quagmire's Baby -
S08E07 Jerome is the New Black -
S08E08 Dog Gone -
S08E09 Business Guy -
S08E10 Big Man on Hippocampus -
S08E11 Dial Meg for Murder -
S08E12 Extra Large Medium -
S08E13 Go, Stewie, Go! -
S08E14 Peter-assment -
S08E15 Brian Griffin's House of Payne -
S08E16 April in Quahog -
S08E17 Brian & Stewie -
S08E18 Quagmire's Dad -
S08E19 The Splendid Source -
S08E20 Something, Something, Something, Dark Side -
S08E21 Partial Terms of Endearment
Season 9
-
S09E01 And Then There Were Fewer -
S09E02 Excellence in Broadcasting -
S09E03 Welcome Back Carter -
S09E04 Halloween on Spooner Street -
S09E05 Baby, You Knock Me Out -
S09E06 Brian Writes a Bestseller -
S09E07 Road to the North Pole -
S09E08 New Kidney in Town -
S09E09 And I'm Joyce Kinney -
S09E10 Friends of Peter G -
S09E11 German Guy -
S09E12 The Hand That Rocks the Wheelchair -
S09E13 Trading Places -
S09E14 Tiegs for Two -
S09E15 Brothers & Sisters -
S09E16 The Big Bang Theory -
S09E17 Foreign Affairs -
S09E18 It's a Trap!
Season 10
-
S10E01 Lottery Fever -
S10E02 Seahorse Seashell Party -
S10E03 Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q -
S10E04 Stewie Goes for a Drive -
S10E05 Back to the Pilot -
S10E06 Thanksgiving -
S10E07 Amish Guy -
S10E08 Cool Hand Peter -
S10E09 Grumpy Old Man -
S10E10 Meg and Quagmire -
S10E11 The Blind Side -
S10E12 Livin' on a Prayer -
S10E13 Tom Tucker: The Man and His Dream -
S10E14 Be Careful What You Fish For -
S10E15 Burning Down the Bayit -
S10E16 Killer Queen -
S10E17 Forget-Me-Not -
S10E18 You Can't Do That on Television, Peter -
S10E19 Mr. & Mrs. Stewie -
S10E20 Leggo My Meg-O -
S10E21 Tea Peter -
S10E22 Viewer Mail #2 -
S10E23 Internal Affairs
Season 11
-
S11E01 Into Fat Air -
S11E02 Ratings Guy -
S11E03 The Old Man and the Big 'C' -
S11E04 Yug Ylimaf -
S11E05 Joe's Revenge -
S11E06 Lois Comes Out of Her Shell -
S11E07 Friends Without Benefits -
S11E08 Jesus, Mary and Joseph -
S11E09 Space Cadet -
S11E10 Brian's Play -
S11E11 The Giggity Wife -
S11E12 Valentine's Day in Quahog -
S11E13 Chris Cross -
S11E14 Call Girl -
S11E15 Turban Cowboy -
S11E16 12 and a Half Angry Men -
S11E17 Bigfat -
S11E18 Total Recall -
S11E19 Save the Clam -
S11E20 Farmer Guy -
S11E21 Roads to Vegas -
S11E22 No Country Club for Old Men
Season 12
-
S12E01 Finders Keepers -
S12E02 Vestigial Peter -
S12E03 Quagmire's Quagmire -
S12E04 A Fistful of Meg -
S12E05 Boopa-dee Bappa-dee -
S12E06 Life of Brian -
S12E07 Into Harmony's Way -
S12E08 Christmas Guy -
S12E09 Peter Problems -
S12E10 Grimm Job -
S12E11 Brian's a Bad Father -
S12E12 Mom's the Word -
S12E13 3 Acts of God -
S12E14 Fresh Heir -
S12E15 Secondhand Spoke -
S12E16 Herpe, the Love Sore -
S12E17 The Most Interesting Man in the World -
S12E18 Baby Got Black -
S12E19 Meg Stinks! -
S12E20 He's Bla-ack! -
S12E21 Chap Stewie
Season 13
-
S13E01 The Simpsons Guy -
S13E02 The Book of Joe -
S13E03 Baking Bad -
S13E04 Brian the Closer -
S13E05 Turkey Guys -
S13E06 The 2000-Year-Old Virgin -
S13E07 Stewie, Chris & Brian's Excellent Adventure -
S13E08 Our Idiot Brian -
S13E09 This Little Piggy -
S13E10 Quagmire's Mom -
S13E11 Encyclopedia Griffin -
S13E12 Stewie is Enceinte -
S13E13 Dr. C and the Women -
S13E14 #JOLO -
S13E15 Once Bitten -
S13E16 Roasted Guy -
S13E17 Fighting Irish -
S13E18 Take My Wife
Season 14
-
S14E01 Pilling Them Softly -
S14E02 Papa Has a Rollin' Son -
S14E03 Guy, Robot -
S14E04 Peternormal Activity -
S14E05 Peter, Chris, & Brian -
S14E06 Peter's Sister -
S14E07 Hot Pocket-Dial -
S14E08 Brokeback Swanson -
S14E09 A Shot in the Dark -
S14E10 Candy, Quahog Marshmallow! -
S14E11 The Peanut Butter Kid -
S14E12 Scammed Yankees -
S14E13 An App a Day -
S14E14 Underage Peter -
S14E15 A Lot Going on Upstairs -
S14E16 The Heartbreak Dog -
S14E17 Take a Letter -
S14E18 The New Adventures of Old Tom -
S14E19 Run, Chris, Run -
S14E20 Road to India
Season 15
-
S15E01 The Boys in the Band -
S15E02 Bookie of the Year -
S15E03 American Gigg-olo -
S15E04 Inside Family Guy -
S15E05 Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date -
S15E06 Hot Shots -
S15E07 High School English -
S15E08 Carter and Tricia -
S15E09 How the Griffin Stole Christmas -
S15E10 Passenger Fatty-Seven -
S15E11 Gronkowsbees -
S15E12 Peter's Def Jam -
S15E13 The Finer Strings -
S15E14 The Dating Game -
S15E15 Cop and a Half-Wit -
S15E16 Saturated Fat Guy -
S15E17 Peter's Lost Youth -
S15E18 The Peter Principal -
S15E19 Dearly Deported -
S15E20 A House Full of Peters
Season 16
-
S16E01 Emmy-Winning Episode -
S16E02 Foxx In The Men House -
S16E03 Nanny Goats -
S16E04 Follow the Money -
S16E05 Three Directors -
S16E06 The D in Apartment 23 -
S16E07 Petey IV -
S16E08 Crimes and Meg's Demeanor -
S16E09 Don't Be a Dickens at Christmas -
S16E10 Boy (Dog) Meets Girl (Dog) -
S16E11 Dog Bites Bear -
S16E12 Send in Stewie, Please -
S16E13 V Is for Mystery -
S16E14 Veteran Guy -
S16E15 The Woof of Wall Street -
S16E16 Family Guy Through the Years -
S16E17 Switch the Flip -
S16E18 HTTPete -
S16E19 The Unkindest Cut -
S16E20 Are You There God? It's Me, Peter
Season 17
-
S17E01 Married with Cancer (1) -
S17E02 Dead Dog Walking (2) -
S17E03 Pal Stewie -
S17E04 Big Trouble in Little Quahog -
S17E05 Regarding Carter -
S17E06 Stand by Meg -
S17E07 The Griffin Winter Games -
S17E08 Con Heiress -
S17E09 Pawtucket Pete -
S17E10 Hefty Shades of Gray -
S17E11 Trump Guy -
S17E12 Bri, Robot -
S17E13 Trans-Fat -
S17E14 Family Guy Lite -
S17E15 No Giggity, No Doubt -
S17E16 You Can't Handle the Booth -
S17E17 Island Adventure -
S17E18 Throw It Away -
S17E19 Girl, Internetted -
S17E20 Adam West High
Season 18
-
S18E01 Yacht Rocky -
S18E02 Bri-Da -
S18E03 Absolutely Babulous -
S18E04 Disney's The Reboot -
S18E05 Cat Fight -
S18E06 Peter & Lois' Wedding -
S18E07 Heart Burn -
S18E08 Shanksgiving -
S18E09 Christmas is Coming -
S18E10 Connie's Celica -
S18E11 Short Cuts -
S18E12 Undergrounded -
S18E13 Rich Old Stewie -
S18E14 The Movement -
S18E15 Baby Stewie -
S18E16 Start Me Up -
S18E17 Coma Guy -
S18E18 Better Off Meg -
S18E19 Holly Bibble -
S18E20 Movin' In (Principal Shepherd's Song)
Season 19
-
S19E01 Stewie's First Word -
S19E02 The Talented Mr. Stewie -
S19E03 Boys & Squirrels -
S19E04 CutawayLand -
S19E05 La Famiglia Guy -
S19E06 Meg's Wedding -
S19E07 Wild Wild West -
S19E08 Pawtucket Pat -
S19E09 The First No L -
S19E10 Fecal Matters -
S19E11 Boy's Best Friend -
S19E12 And Then There's Fraud -
S19E13 PeTerminator -
S19E14 The Marrying Kind -
S19E15 Customer of the Week -
S19E16 Who's Brian Now? -
S19E17 Young Parent Trap -
S19E18 Meg Goes to College -
S19E19 Family Cat -
S19E20 Tales of Former Sports Glory
Season 20
-
S20E01 LASIK Instinct -
S20E02 Rock Hard -
S20E03 Must Love Dogs -
S20E04 80's Guy -
S20E05 Brief Encounter -
S20E06 Cootie & The Blowhard -
S20E07 Peterschmidt Manor -
S20E08 The Birthday Bootlegger -
S20E09 The Fatman Always Rings Twice -
S20E10 Christmas Crime -
S20E11 Mister Act -
S20E12 The Lois Quagmire -
S20E13 Lawyer Guy -
S20E14 HBO-No -
S20E15 Hard Boiled Meg -
S20E16 Prescription Heroine -
S20E17 All About Alana -
S20E18 Girlfriend, Eh? -
S20E19 First Blood -
S20E20 The Jersey Bore
Season 21
-
S21E01 Oscars Guy -
S21E02 Bend or Blockbuster -
S21E03 A Wife-Changing Experience -
S21E04 The Munchurian Candidate -
S21E05 Unzipped Code -
S21E06 Happy Holo-ween -
S21E07 The Stewaway -
S21E08 Get Stewie -
S21E09 Carny Knowledge -
S21E10 The Candidate -
S21E11 Love Story Guy -
S21E12 Old West -
S21E13 Single White Dad -
S21E14 White Meg Can't Jump -
S21E15 Adoptation -
S21E16 The Bird Reich -
S21E17 A Bottle Episode -
S21E18 Vat Man & Rob 'Em -
S21E19 From Russia With Love -
S21E20 Adult Education
Season 22
-
S22E01 Fertilized Megg -
S22E02 Supermarket Pete -
S22E03 A Stache From the Past -
S22E04 Old World Harm -
S22E05 Baby, It's Cold Inside -
S22E06 Boston Stewie -
S22E07 Snap(ple) Decision -
S22E08 Baking Sad -
S22E09 The Return of The King (Of Queens) -
S22E10 Cabin Pressure -
S22E11 Teacher's Heavy Pet -
S22E12 Take This Job and Love It -
S22E13 Lifeguard Meg -
S22E14 Fat Actor -
S22E15 Faith No More
Season 23
-
S23E01 Fat Gun -
S23E02 Live, Laugh, Love -
S23E03 Drunk with Power -
S23E04 Lois C.K. -
S23E05 The Chicken or the Meg -
S23E06 Dog is My Co-Pilot -
S23E07 Pitch Imperfect -
S23E08 Hard Times at Adam West High -
S23E09 The Elle Word -
S23E10 A Real Who's Hulu -
S23E11 China Doll -
S23E12 One Foot in Front of the Mother -
S23E13 The Fat Lotus -
S23E14 Cool Hand Lois -
S23E15 Martian Meg -
S23E16 Row v. Wade -
S23E17 Karenheit 451 -
S23E18 Twain’s World
Season 24
-
S24E01 The Edible Arrangement -
S24E02 Pumpkin Spice Girls -
S24E03 Man-Fest Destiny -
S24E04 Bringing Up Brady -
S24E05 Dear Francis -
S24E06 Viewer DMs -
S24E07 Scent of a Woman -
S24E08 Play Time -
S24E09 Phony Montana -
S24E10 A Few More Ways to Die in the West -
S24E11 Tall Stewie -
S24E12 Lower G.I. Joe -
S24E13 Friend's Best Man -
S24E14 Let the Goodtimes Walk -
S24E15 High School History